I hate shopping.
It’s not that I’m especially frugal or that I don’t like buying things — for myself or others — but the actual act of shopping is pure torture.
Part of that is because of my rapidly-advancing age and the fact that I have painful arthritis in both knees. Spending two hours browsing a department store is about the last thing you’ll find on my list of fun activities.
But my disdain for shopping goes back a long time. Even when I was young and spry, I hated it. I can remember once Christmas shopping with my mom when I was a teenager. Mom loved to “just look” and after a while, I just sat down on the floor in the middle of a busy department store and waited on her to finish inspecting every item.
Still, there are times when shopping simply can’t be avoided. That’s when I’m thankful for the grocery pickup option offered by a certain Arkansas-based retail chain and the “free” two-day shipping available from an online giant that may ultimately take over the world.
The grocery pickup allows me to literally do my grocery shopping entirely by phone. Then all I have to do is show up at the appointed time of my choosing, and pop open my trunk. It’s great, unless I need worms for fishing or a rotisserie chicken. You have to go inside for those particular items. Also, if you buy those two items together, folks will look at you funny.
The two-day shipping thing is also a godsend, except when you order your grandson’s birthday and Christmas gifts, only to find out after you’ve paid for them that they will not, in fact, be delivered in two days. Today in North Little Rock, the world’s most handsome 4-year-old is receiving his gifts — the day after his party. Don’t worry, though: Once his dutiful Pops realized they would be a day late, he ventured out into the cold, cruel world to procure even more gifts to be opened at the party. The end result was double gifts.
The only downside, of course, is that I had to actually go shopping.