Welcome back, Fall
To be honest, we were starting to doubt you. Youíve arrived fashionably late before, but this year it began to border on a faux pas. You know we love you and mean all this in love. At least I hope you do. Welcome to your intervention, Fall.
Letís just cut to the chase. Many of us spent the first of October literally sweating it out ĖĖ waiting and wondering if you would ever make that appearance promised to us every year. We were running the air conditioner until last week. A local family of four carved pumpkins on the porch wearing shorts and tank tops. Shorts and tank tops! Donít you see how inconsiderate you have been?
OK, OK. Shake your head at me. Pretend itís normal to wait until the middle of October to burst through the door acting all casual without a gift for the host. Itís not like we were planning this party a year in advance. We definitely werenít waiting impatiently, slowly removing layers of clothing to avoid heat exhaustion. No, no, no. Take your time, Fall.
And even though we love your famous apple cider, itís fine that you forgot to bring it this year. Donít even bother stopping by the store for some pumpkin-shaped cookies or Swiss Miss hot cocoa packets. Who needs to bring an item to a potluck dinner party anyway? Go ahead and come empty-handed. Weíre used to it by now. Really, itís fine!
What was that? You have the audacity to ask how weíve been doing? It should be painfully obvious, but Iíll take the bait. We have been trudging through yet another grueling summer, telling ourselves it will be all right if we just keep going. We have been longingly staring at sweaters and scarves. We have been keeping the faith in 90-degree weather.
ďDonít worry,Ē I heard a mother comforting her small child near the end of September. ďFall will be here soon. Just be patient. Patience is a virtue.Ē
Well, you know whatís also a virtue? Punctuality! If I can make it to nightly meetings on time without fail, you should find a way to make yourself known by the beginning of October. Nobodyís even asking for a cool September. We love you, Fall, and are happy to compromise. September is not a good time for you to come to the party. It happens. Do you know what also happens when you prolong your arrival?
We all get hot and mad and tan. Iím not sure we can forgive you for the tan. I mean, itís October. Weíre supposed to resemble your old friend Casper, but itís hard to do that when you can sunbathe well past sunbathing season. Think of all the goths out there with their pale white faces and sun-kissed forearms. Think about what youíve done to them, Fall!
We are disappointed in you but that doesnít mean all hope is lost. You can come back from this. We believe in you. So brush yourself off, paint some leaves orange, light up a few bonfires and keep the temps below 60 degrees at all times. Youíve got this, Fall!
We truly believe you are more than your mistakes ĖĖ so donít let it happen again, OK? OK?!