After nearly a month of extended spring, the inevitable has happened. Shave your head and slap on some hot pants, because summer is here.
Not only is it here, it is thriving. We are expected to experience 80-degree weather the rest of the week, and thatís with rain in the forecast. Just imagine what it would be like with no rain ĖĖ the sweat, the blinding sun, the pain. I walked out of the house this morning and howled at the sun in anger. That should come as no surprise to anyone who knows me even a little bit; heat has been my adversary since the womb.
Thereís something about being too hot that enrages me. I can generally control my temper (despite what my husband will tell you) but summertime turns me into a totally different person. I wake up seething, knowing Iíll have to wear clothes to work even though itís just too hot to do that. Being employed is one of my favorite hobbies, so I bite the bullet and throw on some pants and a T-shirt. But I hate every second of it.
Then I get to work and itís so blissfully air-conditioned, I forget about the heat for a while. The Summertime Monster becomes dormant, if only for eight hours. Sometimes I convince myself itís spring again, and thatís when reality hits the hardest. Because the moment I step out the door, Iím reminded what time of the year it is. A little bit of perspiration forms on my upper lip. I hiss at no one in particular.
Maybe if I drink too much coffee, I think, I could jump high enough to snatch the sun out of the sky for once and for all. It would be a suicide mission, but why not go out as a martyr? Everyone would talk about the woman who saved the world from summer for the rest of time, which would probably be a few million years according to a quick Google search I just did.
Did you know the Earth would stay warm that long even if the sun turned off? It never would anyway, because thatís scientifically impossible and the sun is a stubborn nemesis. It will never stop. I have a feeling all of humanity could die out and the sun would continue to bear down on whatís left behind, probably with a wink and a grin.
When I moved to Eureka Springs five years ago, I didnít think the weather was that different from the Texas town where I grew up. I generally visit Texarkana in the winter or spring, so itís still difficult to see much of a difference. Well, I took a visit this past weekend that changed my perspective. Sure, itís hot in Eureka Springs. Yes, Iíve considered surgically attaching flip flops to my feet. But Eureka Springs is a winter oasis compared to Texas.
I stopped to get gas a few miles outside of Texarkana and my face was soaked in sweat three minutes later. I looked up and shook my fist at the sun. My face began breaking out in a rash. I wondered if I could take off my skin suit for a quick second, just long enough to cool down. Then I realized how lucky I am to live in Northwest Arkansas, where I have never contemplated such things.
Thatís not to say Iím happy with the heat in our region. Iím still fighting the good fight, standing against those evil sun rays. If you happen to see me at the grocery store between June and September, donít be surprised if I look angry. I promise ĖĖ†itís not you.
Itís my lifelong foe, the devious sun. And the battle has just begun.