Sometimes I stay up all night on Sunday, so I drink a bunch of coffee on Monday to stay awake and end up sleepless yet another night. Thatís when I start thinking about everything that has ever happened in the world. Itís the important things that keep me up at night, like the federal budget, the rights of minority groups and, of course, the age-old dilemma most of us face this time of the year. Should I cut my hair for summer?
Part of me says yes. I was blessed with incredibly thick hair, which means the back of my neck becomes a space heater during summer months. Even when I pull it up, a few pieces of hair escape, determined to make me literally sweat it out. I can wear pretty much any up-do in the world without hair extensions, but other than that, there isnít much of a benefit to having thick hair.
Itís not that short hair scares me off, either. When I was a teenager, I cut my hair so short the back of it was partially shaved off. I loved it. I could wake up, brush through it and leave. There was no washing and drying and painstakingly applying product just so those stubborn stray hairs would stay in place. Low maintenance is my favorite kind of maintenance. In nearly every way, short hair suits me.
So why donít I just get my hair cut and stop complaining about whether or not I should? Iím almost sure youíre asking that question right now, if youíre even still reading this. Well, Iím indecisive. I want short hair, but I donít want to schedule a hair appointment and then pay someone to cut it. Cutting it myself is not an option, as I learned in 2009, 2013 and 2016.
Two years ago, I attempted to trim my bangs. Yes, just a trim. It was supposed to be simple. I ended up sobbing in the bathroom, looking at maybe the first-ever mullet bangs. It was never meant to look that way. I watched a tutorial on Youtube just so it wouldnít look like that! Anyway, I immediately went to a local hair salon, where the hair stylist pursed her lips and advised me against going back to the hack who cut my bangs that way.
ďIt was me,Ē I told her. ďIím the hack.Ē
She didnít have much to say in response, but I could tell she was silently judging me. I didnít blame her. I was silently judging me, too. When I left the salon, she said it would be OK if I just pinned my bangs back until they grew completely out. If I needed to trim them in the meantime, she said, I should could return to her salon, or any salon, really. She reminded me that people go through training to cut hair, a lesson it might take me a lifetime to truly learn.
And here I am, two years later, trying to decide if I should pay someone to cut my hair or just trim it up on my own. Itís just a little trim, right? Itís nearly impossible to screw up a little trim.
Iíll get back to you next week, after I have created the worst hair disaster known to man. Iíd include pictures, but no one needs to see that horror.
ē ē ē
Samantha Jones is associate editor for Carroll County Newspapers. Her email address is Citizen.Editor.Eureka@gmail.com.