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Thrash on Entertainment
Steven graduated Cum Laude from the University of Arkansas at Little Rock with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Mass Communications, focusing on film studies, journalism and theatre arts. Dubbed a "prolific" writer by Hollywood icon Kenneth Johnson (The Incredible Hulk, V, The Bionic Woman, Alien Nation), Steven has been honored by the Arkansas College Media Association for his story writing prowess. He has also received recognition for his dramatic writing from the Eerie, Shriekfest and Screamfest horror film festivals. Publications include: Carroll County News, Saline Courier, Forum, Echo and Moroch.
Wasted opportunities, the disconcerting disappointment of 'Spider-Man: Far From Home'
Posted Thursday, July 4, 2019, at 11:35 AM

Actors Tom Holland and Zendaya find their A-List talents wasted in "Spider-Man: Far From Home."
LOS ANGELES — "Spider-Man: Far From Home" races out to $39 million on its opening day Tuesday in what is sure to be a weekend dominated by #Spidey (Tom Holland). However, that does NOT excuse the ridiculous choices made by the filmmaker Jon Watts and Marvel Studios.
SPOILER ALERT!
If you have not seen the film, you've been warned that spoilers will follow. And this is a passionately written opinion piece. This is something I have not done in a while — composing an article in first-person voice is a format I avoid — but here is why I'm ultimately disappointed with a movie that could have been so much more than the excrement that was ultimately slung on the Silver Screen.
1) There is no multiverse, at least according to #FarFromHome. The trailers for the film went out of their way to tease audiences with the notion of an epic multiverse and that Mysterio aka Quentin Beck (Jake Gyllenhaal) was from another Earth. Apparently, snapping your finger while wearing the Infinity Gauntlet rips a hole in space and time and allows for passage from one Earth to another. What a brilliant idea, right? This notion will open so many doors for the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Imagine the possibilities: Spider-Man Noir, Spider-Ham, Spider-Woman, Miles Morales, Spider-Gwen!
Does the film follow through on this awe-inspiring story point? Uh, no! Damn you, Marvel!
Rather, Mysterio is simply another disgruntled victim of Tony Stark like Obadiah Stane (Jeff Bridges), Miriam (Alfre Woodard) and the Vulture (Michael Keaton). Really, Marvel? That's the path you chose to pursue? Mysterio is a liar who uses holograms to pretend he's saving the world from the Elementals who are not real either?
Up yours, Marvel.
2) Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) and Maria Hill (Cobie Smulders) — two actors I really like and enjoy — are actually Skrulls for the majority of #FarFromHome. Listen, Marvel, fans already know that Spider-Man is connected to Captain Marvel (Brie Larson) because they're all part of the MCU, and "Avengers: Endgame" even devoted screen time for Spidey and Captain Marvel to share. This was an absolute waste of an end-credits sequence. And does anyone really believe Nick Fury would be so lazy as to sit out the end of the world —as #FarFromHome seemingly teases — and let a Skrull take his place for any length of time?
Up yours, Marvel.
3) I love J. Jonah Jameson, and J.K. Simmons is one of the best actors of this generation, but damn you to a fire-ridden hell, Marvel. Seriously? The filmmakers really missed a huge opportunity when Jameson wrongly reports that Spider-Man is responsible for the destruction Mysterio caused in the other credits sequence. Marvel, if you truly wanted to make a statement, why didn't you use Eddie Brock (Tom Hardy) aka Venom to report this story?
As Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) once said, "If this isn't the biggest bag-over-the-head, punch-in-the-face I ever got... goddammit!"
This would have been the perfect way to create animosity between the anti-hero Venom and the clean-cut Spider-Man. Venom would have a legitimate reason to hate Peter Parker! It's all there in that sequence. What a perfect segue it would have been leading into a Spidey/Venom versus/team-up film. But, no! Writers Chris McKenna and Erik Sommers weren't clever enough to come up with this on their own?
Up yours, Marvel.
4) I wish Nick Fury — oh, wait, I'm sorry. I mean the freakin' Skrull — would have killed Ned Leeds (Jacob Batalon) in the movie instead of knocking him out like you see in the trailers. Ned is so annoying and unlikable. And he is the worst friend ever! The stage is set and there will never be a better time. What are you waiting for, Marvel? Turn him into the Hobgoblin already — the Hobgobiln is a very high-profile and infamous Spidey villain — or just kill him off. For the love of god, do something right!
Up yours, Marvel.
5) Every Marvel fan in the world knows that the giant building, with the atrium, that Spider-Man swung through is the Oscorp Tower/Building. An early test screening for "Far From Home" even labeled it as such, but Marvel was too much of a chicken-sh%$ to leave it in the final cut of the film? Fans want to see Norman and Harry Osborn! That would have been an awesome teaser. What is wrong with you people?
Up yours, Marvel.
The only redeeming quality of #FarFromHome is the relationship between Peter and MJ (Zendaya). Their character interactions are amazing, and that aspect of the film feels as if it were written by the late John Hughes. And their on-screen kiss in the final act was both very awkward and sweetly romantic. It was perfectly executed. Yes, their scenes are that good. Unfortunately, there are just not enough of them to offset the bad choices made.
Final thoughts: this is one of the weakest Spider-Man stories ever, in any format. The vast majority of Sam Raimi's "Spider-Man 3" (2007) is even better than this, and that is saying something.
And was it cliche that Beck revealed Spider-Man's true identity to the world? Wasn't Peter Parker the only hero left in the MCU whose identity was actually a secret?
Yawn.
#FarFromHome is quite the disappointment especially compared to "Spider-Man: Homecoming" (2017), but even that is a compliment this film may not deserve. For years, "Captain America: The First Avenger" (2011) was my least favorite MCU venture, but I'd watch it in droves before seeing "Far From Home" again.
Save your money and stream it, or avoid it all together. If you brave a theater, visit an IMAX. That way you'll at least get to enjoy the awesome visuals in the best possible venue.
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