My Mother, Drunk or Sober

Fewer and fewer people seem to know that. These unfortunates live in a black and white world where all literature and all media have a single point of view, where the only voices heard are loud and braying voices, and where all the citizens are victims of people who live in some "other" world or culture.

A prime example is a document entitled 'Divorce Agreement 2009' that someone dropped off at the bookstore the other day--apparently for the purpose of setting me straight. In briefest summary, the document proposed dividing the nation into two parts. Here, the sensible folks and institutions like Sarah Palin, the NRA, Rush Limbaugh and Wal-Mart might live on one side--I suppose on the "right" side of the world--and then there is another, or "other" side of the world where cretins like Michael Moore, Muslims, Shirley McClain, and health food fanatics might reside. (Let us suppose that would be the "left" side of the world).

I confess that the document threw me into a considerable well of confusion. Which world might I choose to live in, assuming I have a choice?

For example, I think the 2nd amendment is an important amendment. But then, I think that ALL of our Constitutional amendments are important. If I spoke out in favor of the 2nd Amendment in Left World, would I be expelled? Or, if I affirmed the 2nd Amendment in Right World but also held up the importance of the 14th Amendment, would I be tossed out on my ear?

Similarly, I belong to a little Christian church that is for all practical purposes quite conservative in its outlook. Some people in Left World view my association with this church as fairly suspect, if not outright suspicious. Because this little church meets with the general approval of Right World, some folks in Left World have decided I'm part of a vast Right Wing Conspiracy.

On the other hand, I believe that Muslims have the right to worship the God of their choice--in any country of the world--whether that world is Right or Left. Naturally, citizens of Right World think I'm a multicultural wiener and--oh dear!--will probably revoke my papers.

What "Divorce Agreement 2009" has accomplished is to prove that you don't have to be a member of Congress to be a narcissistic dipstick. Ignorance is obviously an Equal Opportunity Employer: it is successfully and aggressively hiring everyone it can, except for people with an ounce of commonsense, or a more nuanced view of the world. If you possess either of these qualities, don't bother to apply.

In the mean time, consider please the "Three World" option--which is what I think is really going on--rather than the two world option of 'Divorce Agreement 2009.' What happens in the Three World option is that Left World and Right World are located at the very top and very bottom of the world. They are the North and South poles where every idea is frozen and every sentiment is sterile. The residents of Pole World have driven a big screw through the heart of the earth--where the rest of us live--and day by day they tighten the screw's Wing Nuts until everyone becomes breathless with confusion.